Ever googled tips on how to sleep?

You might have even come across some useful tips - called ‘Sleep hygiene’.

Things like sleeping in a dark, cool room, no screens for 2 hours before bed, no caffeine, reduce alcohol, do physical exercise in the morning, reduce sugar….

…and now that you’ve read those tips, do you consistently enjoy deep sleep at night?

Probably not, since you’re on this page.

That’s funny isn’t it?

I’ll tell you why - because those aren’t the real reasons you can’t sleep.

Stay with me, I’m going to tell you a 2-minute story.

There was a woman I worked with very closely who worked in a high-pressured industry with a lot of competition, high targets, long hours, etc.

On average she was working about a week of unpaid overtime every month. She was spending the weekends going out partying to distract her from how much she worked. She was drinking 6-8 coffees a day and sleeping inconsistently, anywhere between 4-10 hrs a night. Her adrenaline was high and her circadian rhythm was completely out of whack as she fluctuated between wired and exhausted every day.

Unsurprisingly she went through a cycle of burnout every couple of years through her 20s.

But it was only as she was approaching 30 that she had a complete breakdown and was forced to address the real issue.

The real issue was OVER-PRODUCTIVITY based on NOT FEELING GOOD ENOUGH rooted in a belief of being UNDESERVING OF LOVE.

(Hi, I’m the problem, it’s me).

How is this related to sleep (I hear you ask)?

Because:

“I’m undeserving of love” and “I’m not good enough as I am” translates to “I need to prove myself through achievements and actions”

= I don’t deserve to rest

= working late into the night

= drinking a sh*tload of caffeine to get through the morning

= exhausted by lunchtime

= struggling with work and focus, chasing dopamine, making bad decisions, feeling like a failure all round and starting the cycle again.

That’s painful, right?

First off if this is you, I feel you, I was there, it’s not your fault, and there is hope.

There is ONE THING you need to take away from this story:

At least 90% of our decisions are made by our subconscious mind.

Neuroscientists agree on this - at least 90% of our decisions are made by our subconscious mind. That means 90% of the time, the problem ISN’T that we don’t know HOW to look after ourselves. The problem is that we SUBCONSCIOUSLY self-sabotage ourselves, and we need to know WHY we’re doing that to make it possible to break that pattern.

Here’s just a few of the ways self-sabotage shows up in unhealthy sleep:

• Your subconscious limiting beliefs are prioritising productivity over your physical and mental health.

• You work unpaid overtime to feel valued, because your self-worth is linked to achievement and success.

• Your unresolved trauma makes it feel unsafe to be in your body, which leads to a self-protection mechanism of ignoring what your body is saying (“I need rest”)

• You’re stuck in fight or flight (or fawn, or freeze) with high cortisol and adrenaline, disrupting your circadian rhythm, not allowing natural sleep signals to fire even when you DO go to bed

Who makes good decisions in a sleep-deprived state?

NOBODY.

You don’t make good food decisions, exercise decisions, work decisions.

You just try and get through the day. You try to avoid any further discomfort on top of the pain of not sleeping.

No amount of sleep hygiene is going to solve your sleep problems if there is something deeper rooted there.

There’s a simple way to find out if there’s something deeper rooted there. Let’s do it together now.

Close your eyes.

Think about that feeling of not sleeping. Of lying in bed with anxious thoughts running through your mind. Of waking up and feeling worse than when you went to bed.

Where is that in your body? What colour is it? What texture is it? Is it soft or hard? How strong is it, on a scale of 1-10?

What is the feeling behind that? Name it to yourself.

Ask that feeling: How long have you been here with me?

Time for some truth: If you’re getting any age in your childhood, there is something deeper there.

This can be incredibly confronting, but also liberating.

Because it is possible to get to the root of your sleep disruption, and rewire your subconscious mind, to be able to TRANSFORM your sleep.

My 90-day programme, Sleep Alchemy, is here to help you unlock the best sleep of your life.

This isn’t just about having ONE good night’s sleep. This is about unlocking deeply restorative, effortless sleep, and getting the tools to help you with sleep for the rest of your life.